Conflict

Coming off one of the truly great ministry weekends I've been a part of for quite some time I was excited for Sunday morning. It was the first day of Advent, our students were leading worship, and we were focusing on the amazing prophecies regarding Christ. I was stoked.

By Sunday afternoon I was wondering aloud if I was in the right place. Had I missed God's perceived open invitation to serve students in Hong Kong? Two brief sentences cut me deeply and I didn't know how to deal with them. My heart and mind felt torn between a response that demonstrated being a "good" servant and letting it go for the sake of shallow unity or facing the issue head on at the risk of ugliness and discomfort.

Deep down, I knew my necessary response was clear. Talk, open up, share, communicate in love; those all sounded so nice. All I really wanted to do was run. It's worked in the past. I always get over it, right? This time, obedience won out. I set forth to spend some time with my friend dealing with the issues at hand as openly as possible. I would do all I could to use this oportunity to build a healthier friendship and hopefully working environment. I was scared stiff.

Two nights without sleep came and went and it was time. As we talked together, my tension was eased by the graciousness, love and compassion of my counterpart. Instead of dealing with my concerns emotionally, he talked openly about each situation and how we could correct them together. It was a great conversation.

Now that I've had a couple of days to ponder the whole situation, I hope I've learned from it. Conflict that is dealt with openly can lead to a strengthened relationship. This wasn't the first hard situation I've ever been in, but all to often, I have chosen to internalize and "move on". That's never helped anything.

I think church culture has taken the stance that if it might hurt someone it's better to say nothing. Why are we so afraid to be honest with one another? Why is it so hard to deal openly and lovingly with our wounds? I think it's a lack of faith. I allow myself to believe that if I go to a person in love, I'll get screwed and it's not worth the risk. To be frank, that's crap. I exert so much more effort trying to avoid the situation and end up harming relationships.

Conflict is hard; sometimes faith is too. I say all the time that to live out the story of God, we have to live with one another. That means I have to participate in the hard stuff instead of merely observing. That means dealing with the ugliness that's first in me and trusting God to help forge new territory in relationships that He's ordained for more than the mediocrity I've given them.

Relationships are meant to be beautiful. It's time my life modeled the truth that beauty often comes from fire.

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I need to be reminded to be thankful. Why is that? Why don't I have as the old addage suggests, "an attitude of gratitude"? I certainly want to be thankful, and I have a plethora of things that warrant me being thankful 365 days a year.
I've been reading through Jeremiah lately and been saddened at how much I reflect the Israelites in my attention to God. I may not carve out wooden idols; rather, I choose to worship the idol of "stuff".
My prayer is that I will heed the wisdom of Jeremiah and look toward my Father and away from my stuff. I think part of a true connection to God comes when I take the time to reflect upon how awesome He is and thank Him for that. It's all about focus.

daddy's little girl

daddy and Isabella

so i couldn't resist showing one more pic of Isabella. She is teaching me so much. I still can't get over the amazing feeling of coming home to see her smile when she recognizes me. Words don't do it justice.

Daddyhood

I love being a daddy!
I have much to learn about what fatherhood really means. Everyday that little one teaches me something new about life... Today was a lousy day for me. I'm sick, ministry feels stagnant, and I just didn't feel all that happy. Then I came home and Isabella smiled. Nothing fancy, just a smile. That little glowing face softens me. There aren't words to describe it, and I won't try. The sweet spirit of my little girl is so powerful, her is love so perfect.
My daily prayer is that she live up to the meaning of her name, "devoted to God". I want to live up to her name too.

parables

i was at a conference this weekend that i thought went pretty well. it seemed like the students had a great time, the main sessions flowed well, and everyone was pleased, me included. as i listened to our main session speaker finish up his second message, a question was posed by a friend of what i thought about the speaking style. my friend felt like it may not have been faithful to the word of God because we never really opened our bibles and dug in. at the time i didn't have a good response; his concerns sounded valid yet in my heart, i thought the Truth was spoken.
i've been thinking about it ever since. what should i have said? was there anything wrong with the message? am i missing something?
Andreew, our speaker is a gifted story teller obviously loves the Lord and loves communicating the story of God to students. as i sit here, i realize that i think he's following the model of Christ. Metaphors/parables keep the Truth of the message alive in people's hearts in a way that i just don't think a three point sermon can. the speaker told stories that bled the truth of God's word. my friend was right, we didn't really open up our bibles and unpack a text and then apply it to our lives. I think we opened up the Word in a much more meaningful way.
i was in a seminar after the first message and was thrilled to hear the group spell out what they heard from that first message and how real the Truth was. i asked them what made it so powerful? the story allowed us to think through the point (is that the right word?) that needed to be made. this came from jr high and high school students. they got it. they heard the Truth of God's word the light of their given situations. that rawks!
it's easy to get caught up in "telling" what the Bible says. i don't find it hard to stand up and tell someone exactly what they should be doing, in fact, i could make a really great list of points right now.
instead, i am realizing that i want my every word to spew God's word. i may not overtly say that this verse says such and such, but what if my life told the story of God everyday? what if, when i got up to speak, i had put the work into praying and studying through God's word that His truth was a part of my life that simply needed shared in the context of life? i don't want to be a teller, i want to be a thought provoker. i want to be a tool that the Spirit uses to spark the thoughts of those around me toward bigger things.
Jesus was amazing at allowing people to think through what He said. if i'm honest with myself, i wouldn't have understood much of His sermon on the mount for a long time. but i can bet that i would have been thinking about words like "blessed are the poor in spirit" everyday.
i'm thinking maybe the time has passed where a traditional "sermon" is what i need to be speaking. that's good news for me because i really suck at three point sermons.
Jesus spoke the language of the listener in every situation. every word of His was so rich, because He spoke to the heart. maybe that's where the attention needs to be. how can the message be conveyed in a manner that speaks to hearts? how can i, as a faithful servant, faithfully convey the transforming power of God's word? the story of God through the truth of life is so powerful, why not start there?
if only all this came to mind earlier. my conclusion, bring on the stories, as long as they're telling the Story. looking back, the first message of the highway is truly one of the greatest messages i've heard in a long time. Truth wrapped in the fabric of life, isn't that how it's supposed to be?